Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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