That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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