I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize