Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
