somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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