I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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