Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
