This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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