I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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