Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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