508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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