Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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