I wish I could punch you in the face.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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