i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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