omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
