I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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