i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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