Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
