community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize