I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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