I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
