that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize