Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
