Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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