if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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