Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
