I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
