We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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