Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
