Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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