ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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