it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
