lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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