Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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