Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
