I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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