i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize