Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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