hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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