the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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