well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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