im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
