Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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