Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You're like the curious george of whores
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
