And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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