we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
