I wannas sexs uuuuu
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
