So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
