You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize