whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
