i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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