i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
