also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
