Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
