You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
