We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
