Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
